Scorpio is no stranger to intense emotions. They’re not afraid of falling in love . . . but they do sometimes question their own lovability. Life has not always been easy for the scorpion, but intimacy, sex, and close relationships (both sexual and platonic) make the difficult times worth fighting for.
Scorpio dwells in dangerous places—if not always literally, then emotionally. They’re familiar with the landscape of “rock bottom.” They’ve been there a few times, you see, as they’ve gone through many transformations in their life, ultimately being reborn like the phoenix. Scorpio has seen some shit—and they just can’t relate to someone who has had it easy or who hasn’t known loss.
They crave depth in their relationships, and above all—whether or not they realize it—Scorpio needs to be with someone who can stay present, someone who can stay grounded and provide security while Scorpio wrestles with their tendency for catastrophic thinking and obsessions, someone who will be patient when they’re feeling angry, envious, or resentful. Scorpio has a tendency to overanalyze and be cynical—not always an easy combination. They may see the worst in a situation (it’s part of their defense mechanism) before being able to see the bright side.
Scorpio’s partner needs a tough shell for the sting their scorpion will sometimes deliver. Scorpio is looking for someone who will take them seriously when they are upset, but also be able to lift the mood when Scorpio’s dark side creeps in. Scorpios love to love, and they love to fuck, but there’s a slim chance they’ll love you. Scorpio is very discriminating about who they let in, but when they do, expect to be loved as deeply as anyone could. Think matching tattoos, vials of blood for your anniversary, a crypt reserved for two.
These mysterious, sexy people hold intense eye contact and have strong poker faces. You’ll leave your first encounter less concerned with what you thought of them and more anxious about what they thought of you. What exactly were they thinking when they looked you up and down, you’ll wonder. Your Scorpio crush will likely be wearing all black, but don’t be alarmed if they greet you in something more unexpected—antique mourning jewelry, leather, fishnet stockings, sequins, studs, and even chains find their way into the scorpion’s wardrobe.
Scorpios exude power . . . unless they feel like hiding. If you encounter them online, their photos will either be exquisitely shot by an exceptional photographer with the best equipment, lighting, hair, and makeup, or they will be layered with several hundred dark filters, obscuring their face for total privacy. They’re one of the few people who can look good when photographed from below. Rarely will you see a sweet, smiling candid photo of Scorpio floating around . . . if you do, trust that they were up to something!
Ask them what they plan to dress up as for Halloween. Even if it’s April, most Scorpios enjoy talking about their party plans. Halloween, a holiday that’s part of Scorpio’s season, was originally devoted to honoring the dead. Now it’s one of the only days Americans wear lingerie in public! Sex and death are so deeply entwined, and all Scorpios know this!
Flattery goes a long way with Scorpio. Will they be suspicious of your random compliment? Probably. But Scorpio’s ego can always use a boost, and if you’re going to keep the compliments coming, they’ll keep you around for at least a little while.
Scorpio isn’t into small talk, but they’re also unlikely to share their deepest secrets with you on your first (or even fifth) meeting. Open up about yourself. Don’t share something too vulnerable (you don’t want to come across as stupid to Scorpio), but something personal enough to show that you’ve got depth.
Even the most skeptical Scorpio secretly believes in magic; tell them you read your horoscope and that it said you would connect with a crush today. When flirting and complimenting Scorpio, don’t make it too obvious that you’re talking about them when you say, for example, that you love a certain smell that clearly is part of the profile of the fragrance they wear . . . but don’t imply that you aren’t. Scorpio loves having a mystery to solve, so leave them wondering whether you’re talking about them!
All that said, don’t be at their beck and call, or else they’ll lose respect for you. Give them a compliment, share a secret, and then leave them with some mystery. Don’t answer their text right away if you’re busy at work or relaxing. Win your Scorpio over by proving that you have a life, and more importantly, self-control. It will be all the juicier for them to make you beg for it in the bedroom.
Take the scorpion out for a date at a restaurant with a private dining room, as Scorpio is big on privacy. For a more casual date, a stroll through a graveyard with deep, stimulating conversation is a good move. For a night in, binge-watching true crime, fantasy, or horror movies is always a fine idea.
The mysteries of life and death are intriguing to Scorpio, the detective of the zodiac, and Scorpio’s keen research abilities are unmatched (so, if you cheat, expect them to find out!). Intrigued by the occult and fascinated by psychology, Scorpio wants to know what makes people tick, spiritually and emotionally. Going to a panel or lecture together about one of these topics is a great idea.
Scorpio isn’t into PDA . . . usually. However, in more intimate environments, like a house party or after hours at a nightclub, they are typically up for some strip poker, spin the bottle, truth or dare, or an orgy.
Reliability is important to Scorpio. In a polyamorous relationship, it’s important to schedule time with them, so they know that they can depend on you. Not just for “date nights,” but also for the “crying, laughing, cleaning out the garage, or impromptu trip nights.” These are just as important to Scorpio because part of why they want to be in a relationship is for the support—it’s really not just about sex and shared secrets for them. In a monogamous relationship, this is just as true. You need to be there. Flaky, flighty, moody people leave Scorpio feeling totally drained. No matter what sort of relationship they are in, being mindful about jealousy, obsessive behavior, and power struggles is also important.
Scorpio needs a partner who is down-to-earth and doesn’t start drama just for the fun of it. Life is hard enough, and a relationship should be an emotionally safe space for all involved.
Financial stability is also very important to Scorpio. Scorpio would be just as upset to find a partner who isn’t generous or is shady about cash and lies about their financial situation as they would to find that their loved one flirted with the enemy. In fact, Scorpio would almost rather you flirt with their enemy because then they could have a fun time getting back at you by flirting with your best friend. Scorpio gets very (VERY!) jealous, indeed, but they also fear being used, lied to, or led on.
They enjoy having a partner they can create things with: art, music, a business. Scorpio is a sign that knows two heads are better than one—just like two bank accounts are fatter than one. When people come together and combine their talents and resources, amazing things can happen.