Brenda Frazier

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American socialite, the "Debutante of the Year" in 1938. Canadian born Frazier was noticed by a New York society tabloid columnist and was predicted to be the belle of her season. He was right on target. Within two years, Frazier's name and photograph were continuously appearing nationwide in cafe society publications, unofficially crowning her the world's "Glamour Girl No. 1." Pushed to the top by her social climbing mother and grandmother, Brenda was a pawn to further the ambitions of these two selfish women. Using Brenda's four million dollar inheritance to fuel her ascent into cafe society, they groomed her into a professional beauty by dressing her in furs and jewels and encouraging her to date wealthy, socially prominent men. Their regimen culminated in a debutante ball that received press coverage on a par with a presidential inauguration. The coming-out event took place at the Ritz Hotel in New York on 12/ 27/1938. Thousands of dollars and months of planning had been spent to introduce Frazier to society in the politically correct manner. Fifteen detectives disguised in white tie and tails were hired to work the occasion, keeping an especially close eye on the Rothschild diamonds on the necks, throats and fingers of certain attendees. After bitterly complaining to cancel the whole affair, flu-stricken, edema suffering Frazier rose to the occasion and danced all night and, as the gala was finally winding down at 6 o'clock the following morning, commuters on their way to work read the accounts of her outstanding social success. Across the continent in San Francisco the headlines read: "Brenda is finally out. Now we can all relax." It was estimated that between 12/16/1938 and 1/7/1939, thoroughbred-in-training Frazier had spent a marathon 140 hours on the dance floor and danced a total of 70 miles. The success of the coming out party resulted in a search by mom for a suitable husband for her stock in trade daughter. "Unless I married well, the whole year would have passed in vain." Frazier later wrote. " I was bred and trained to be married, run a household, give parties, and rear daughters to have their own debuts and sons to dance with a new generation of debutantes." A potential husband surfaced in the form of one-time professional athlete John "Shipwreck" Kelly, and Frazier and Kelly married in December 1941. Daughter Victoria was born in 1945 and was subsequently shipped off to boarding school. Success as a debutante had its limits; playboy "Ship" did not have a steady career and, after his prolonged hospital sojourn in 1950 while recovering from several operations, Frazier asked for a separation. They divorced in 1956. After age 30, Brenda found herself alone and living in relative obscurity, no longer pursued by reporters and photographers. She had lost her domineering mother, was losing her looks and was deeply in debt. Unable to cope with independence and its attendant responsibility, she drank and took tranquilizers to calm her nerves and ease her chronic bouts with depression. "Things really started to go downhill after she and Daddy broke up," said daughter Victoria. Her clouded judgment led to two unstable relationships, first with Count Vasilli Adlerberg, an obsolete Russian nobleman, then Count Pietro Francesco Mele, the only son of one of Italy's wealthiest families. Mele's unpredictable mood swings required careful handling, and their jet set lifestyle between Italy and New York ended after three years following a series of public and violent eruptions. Five days after the break-up, Frazier was admitted to the hospital for treatment of a severe nervous breakdown. Following her so-called recovery, Frazier decided the only way out was to kill herself. Her first suicide attempt was unsuccessful, so she tried again and again until the final estimate hovered around 31 attempts. "I'm guessing, but I'd say my mother didn't care whether she lived or died," said her daughter Victoria. "She was depressed. If she died, she died. If she came to, she came to." Throughout the fifties, Frazier became increasingly bitter about New York society, criticizing it for its boredom while she miserably played the role of society matron. The right parties now rubbed her the wrong way, and their artificial atmosphere raised Frazier's feelings of youthful anxiety and unfulfilled dreams. It was easier to hide in the seclusion of her summer home named "Why Not" in Cape Cod, MA, where she subsequently spent much of her time. Frazier made a second marriage to Robert Chatfield-Taylor, on 3/03/1957 in the living room at "Why Not." A small, private ceremony, it was attended by 25 close friends and relatives. Frazier later admitted she didn't want to get married and, at the moment she and Chatfield -Taylor were pronounced man and wife, she realized she made a big mistake. Soon after the wedding, she was again rushed to the hospital where she remained for one month. Eleven-year-old Victoria accompanied the couple on their delayed honeymoon, which included a maid and a chauffeur who were fired by Frazier by the end of the trip. The disastrous affair between Boston and Florida resulted in yet another suicide attempt, and by now her drug addiction and alcoholism were spiraling out of control. Frazier's descent, living on a diet of slimming pills, sleeping pills and pills for exhaustion, accelerated in 1962 after she complained of chronic pain. Frazier then became anorexic and bulimic but the medical profession attributed her physical ailments to her anguished mental state. Her daily routine had degenerated to surrounding herself with vials of tranquilizers, painkillers, diuretics, uppers and downers and sending her chauffeur on errands for out of date cosmetics. A feature article on Frazier in "Life" magazine" on 12/6/1963 under the headline "My Debut - A Horror" highlighted the hollow, unproductive and questionable lifestyle of debutantes and boosted Frazier's self-confidence enough to appear on several television talk shows, where she proudly extolled her relaxed relationship with her own daughter. "Our first step was to agree that she would not have a coming out party, a decision in which she takes great pride. She has not been pushed into the first irrevocable circle of a meaningless social whirl and is free to choose her own kind of future." Nothing could have been further from the truth. Frazier saw Victoria as competition and, once Victoria reached puberty, insisted she consume vast portions of fattening foods so she wouldn't appear as a shapely threat to her mother's bony beauty. If Victoria lost weight, Frazier threw tantrums. "She'd say I was going to get sick; I was going to get like her. She didn't want me to turn out like her." Victoria said. "But anyone who knew the situation knew it had absolutely nothing to do with that." The marriage to Chatfield-Taylor ended in divorce in 1962. After 1964, Frazier spent the rest of her life in and out of hospitals, still totally dependent on drugs, alcohol and her psychiatrist. In February 1982 she entered the hospital again complaining of her chronic pain, which was finally diagnosed as inoperable bone cancer. Languishing down to 65 pounds, she died mercifully in the hospital on 5/2/1982. A New York society columnist wrote in her obituary: "Brenda Diana Duff Frazier Kelly Chatfield-Taylor had everything - beauty, breeding, money, brains, a kindness and sweetness about her. On second thought, she really didn't have everything. Health and happiness eluded her." Link to Wikipedia biography