Behind the cold, cool exterior is someone who longs for a partner to explore and enjoy life with. Pop astrology sometimes calls our Aquarius friends robotic or alien, but this is a misunderstanding of their detached, scientific mind. Aquarius is very cerebral, but they’re not all brains . . . they have a heart, too.
So, what’s the water bearer like in love? When they’ve found someone who awakens their passion, Aquarius is a present, thoughtful, and reliable partner, unmovable in their devotion—a best friend until the very end. Aquarius fears being stuck or trapped in a relationship that’s based on social norms or expectations rather than real feelings; don’t expect marriage plans after graduation followed by a baby with Aquarius just because that’s “what everyone does.” Aquarius doesn’t do what everyone does, and when they love you, you know it’s not out of obligation. It’s for real.
It’s easy to be intimidated by an Aquarius. Their fashion is very cool, they always seem to have the latest tech, plus they typically wear serious expressions. “You have resting bitch face” is certainly something they have heard once or twice, and they’ve been accused of being standoffish or cold. They can appear to be detached, but it’s not out of cruelty. Their rational mind enables them to step back from a situation and observe things from a logical perspective, whether it is to see how things break down . . . or how they come together.
But they have their silly moods, too, and they have no qualms about showing them off to those close to them. If you meet them through friends, perhaps at a small dinner, they’ll feel totally comfortable being their wacky selves, instead of the chill demeanor they usually wear for the world. Their sense of humor and seemingly breezy attitude could make you feel like you’re instant best friends—but you’re not. Aquarius needs space. And time. They want to get to know you, and they want you to get to know the real them, not just what their surface shows you.
If you meet them online, be creative and entertaining about how you contact them—a boring “Hi” isn’t going to cut it. If you spot them at a party or concert, make sure they’re giving you some eye contact before you approach them. They don’t really like being approached unexpectedly. Sure, they’re aloof, but they’re just like anyone else—they’ll check you out if they’re interested!
Aquarius is an Air sign, the element of communication, so if they like you, you will hear from them. Witty and a word-smith, they love banter, so keep it sharp and intellectual, and rely on them to share some exciting stories with you, too. They’re not always the chattiest people, but when they have a crush, they usually have an interesting “You’ll never believe this” tale to share. They enjoy hearing their phone regularly ping with a notification, and appreciate someone who is straightforward and regular with communication. Don’t be afraid to make the first move—Aquarius is excited about people who are excited about them! Not sure what to talk about? Aquarius is attracted to the unusual and to mysteries, so ask them if they’ve seen the premiere of a sci-fi or detective show. As humanitarians, they’re also into politics, so ask what they think about a news item—one you’re genuinely passionate about. Knowing you care about the world is a turn-on for them.
Be a rebel. Aquarius loves rule breakers and people who aren’t afraid to stand out in a crowd. Aquarius needs their space, so being clingy is bound to push them away. It’s not that they’re averse to hanging out all the time—they totally can—but if you make them feel like you can’t live without them or that they’re not free to do their own thing, they’ll run the other way. Do not judge an Aquarius by their cover. Never jump to conclusions about situations or people just because of what’s on the surface; Aquarius finds that very immature.
Prove you are reliable by keeping the dates you’ve planned, but also show you’re not boring by being spontaneous; ruled by structure-oriented Saturn and rebel Uranus, Aquarius really needs both in their life: rules and breaking the rules.
Aquarius enjoys planning events, so they’ll likely have an itinerary set up already if they call to ask you out. If you’re planning the date, Aquarius loves going on adventures, so arrange an excursion: Visit a nearby neighborhood the two of you have never been to before, and swing by the most popular food joint—even better, surprise them with a random road trip to an unusual place, like the Whispering Gallery in Grand Central Station in New York City or the Wave Organ in San Francisco. Think of the strangest gallery, oddities store, restaurant, or monument, and take them there. They’ll bring their camera (Aquarius usually has at least a few), and you two will have some lasting memories.
Go someplace where you can talk—a movie probably isn’t the best first-date option, because they want to get to know you (and anyway, Aquarius is not the type to feel awkward going to a movie alone). They also don’t mind spending a night in playing board games or watching movies—in fact, watching movies at home is great because they can talk over the actors as much as they like without getting kicked out of the theater.
When you’re on the date, don’t come across as a name-dropper or poseur, or judge people harshly for having different tastes than you. Nothing is less cool to an Aquarius than someone not being themself or not respecting other people’s interests.
Friendship is crucial to Aquarius, so nurture that aspect of your partnership as much as possible. Aquarius’s cool demeanor can make it seem like they are unemotional, but that’s totally untrue. They feel very deeply, but they value communicating their feelings in a thoughtful, organized, straightforward way.
Do not be surprised if you hear clinical-sounding terminology during an emotional conversation or argument with an Aquarius; they feel very comfortable using psychologist-approved lines as a way to express their feelings. One Aquarius told me that she had a book on effective communication for office managers—and that she pulled lines from it to use in her relationships.
Open-minded Aquarius approaches each relationship as a totally unique experience, not expecting past relationship formats to conform to the new. Their independence is also important to them, and they want a partner who has a life, too. Aquarius loves mysteries, but don’t be one. Don’t bother hiding things from them, as they are excellent detectives and will figure out the truth.
Take the initiative at work, at home, and in the relationship. Aquarius loves being around a go-getter who makes things happen, but they also need space—they need the perfect balance of a reliable best friend they can always count on, but without a clingy vibe. Be interested in life: Go places, meet people, learn things. Aquarius is attracted to people who are curious about the world. If you don’t have a life, Aquarius won’t want to be in yours.